What's Left Behind

 In August of 2010, we went as a family to a local animal shelter. We came home with an 8-week-old brown puppy we named Chloe.

On June 16, 2023, just four days after her 13^th birthday, we went with her to the
vet one last time to say our goodbyes.

She was a 10-pound ball of energy that grew into a 74-pound sweet yet often stubborn dog. There were times when she could be an absolute love bug. Other times, she would look at you like she would flip you off if she actually had the digits to do it.

She was more than a dog to us. She was our protector. Our travel companion. Our constant shadow. Our floor cleaner. The greeter when we walked in the door. And a friend who knew exactly when you needed a cuddle, an encouraging lick, or a ball dropped at your feet.

Her fur may have turned grey, but for 12 years she was a ball of energy that could still run with the puppy next door. Then in August of 2022, we found a tumor in her mouth that the vet diagnosed as melanoma.

This is a fast-moving cancer, she advised us. She probably only had weeks or months left.

But being the dog she was, she defied the odds.

The tumor was removed, and follow-up visits showed no sign of it returning. Her blood work was excellent. We thought we had dodged a bullet. Perhaps she was in total remission or the diagnosis was wrong.

Yet little signs started creeping in that her age was catching up with her. She moved a bit slower, had some difficulty getting up, and went on some medication for joint pain. Her hearing greatly diminished. And she lost some interest in the toys she so loved.

In late April of this year, we found another tumor in the exact same spot. The vet removed it and was confident she got all of it. But on a follow-up visit only three weeks later, the tumor was already growing back.

Then the bleeding started. Just spotting at first, and we thought it was from the tumor site as it was still healing. One night, however, she had a bad nosebleed. Another followed a few days later. She now had a tumor in her nasal cavity.

A Chinese herb recommended by the vet helped slow the bleeding. For about three weeks, she had relatively minor episodes. But on the night of June 15^th, she had a major bleed that lasted at least 30 minutes.

She was panicking and kept shaking her head to clear her nose, which kept the bleeding from clotting. All four of us were covered with blood trying to get her to calm down enough to slow the bleeding. We finally did after about five towels and copious amounts of blood on the floor, walls, and ourselves.

We also found out that night the emergency vet clinic in our area had closed. The closest one was 40 minutes away.

What happens next time if we truly cannot stop the bleeding? She may not survive a 40-minute drive to a clinic. That night, we decided we cannot put her or ourselves through this anymore. In the morning, I called the vet and made an appointment to bring her in that afternoon.

That morning, we all rearranged our schedules to spend her last day spoiling her. We gave her more treats than we could count. She had one last doggie sundae. We took her on a final walk through the neighborhood she loved and protected. We gave her all the pats, hugs, and love a great doggy deserves.

At 3:00 PM, we all walked into the vet's office with her one last time.

She was never fond of the veterinarian and was shaking at first. But we surrounded her, petted her, and talked to her until she calmed down. We gave her Hershey Kisses from a jar the vet tech gave us labeled “goodbye kisses.”

When the time came for her to go, we told her what a good doggy she was, how much we love and will miss her, and how we would never forget her. She went peacefully, taking a part of each of our hearts with her.

A few days have passed since that sad Friday. Her ashes have been returned to us and will be buried in our backyard when her memorial marker arrives. Her dog bed, food dish, and toys have been put away since it was too painful to look at them.

Leftover dog food and treats have been distributed to neighbors with dogs who express their sadness at her passing. Although I suspect they will not miss her barking at them.

Her leftover medication has been packed up and will be given to a local no-kill shelter. And the emptiness left behind without her presence is sometimes more than I can bear. My first walk without her was unbelievably hard, especially when a neighbor asked where she was. I barely held it together as I told her Chloe has passed.

Still, I know she is not really gone. When we lose a pet, they take a piece of our hearts with them. But the memory of the love they left behind fills that void in our hearts. And that love will never leave us for as long as we live.

Thank you, Chloe, for keeping our yard safe from squirrels, birds, moles, chipmunks, and anything else you could chase and sometimes catch. Thank you for protecting us from anyone who approached our fence, even if it was neighbors you saw hundreds of times.

Thank you for never leaving food on the floor long enough for us to enact the five-second rule. Thank you for the exercise, the enthusiastic greetings when we came home, and all those moments you somehow knew we just needed you close by. Thank you for the wonderful memories of the time spent with the world’s best dog.

Most of all, thank you for the love, the devotion, and for being our beloved doggy.

Rest in peace, sweet girl. We will love you always.

I Can’t Tell You What “Woke” Is. But I Can Tell You What It Has Done

 Apparently, it is an insult now if you call someone “woke.” But I don’t quite understand why.

Especially since I don’t even understand the definition of “woke.” Is it someone who believes in treating others as equals despite our differences? Or is it just some general label you give someone because you don’t like their views?

This is especially important because if you ask people the definition of woke—including those who complain about it—they usually can’t define it either.

I think most people consider it something akin to making people comfortable and not trying to insult anyone. But others apparently see it as something demeaning that keeps them from expressing themselves.

This is puzzling because you certainly are allowed to express yourself. It’s usually the consequences of expressing yourself that cause the problems. But I digress.

Like most people, I cannot give you a definition of “woke.” But I can tell you what “woke” has done:

•          It passed the Nineteenth Amendment, giving women the right to vote and a voice in America.

•          After 146 people—mainly young women—died horrific deaths in a factory fire and after thousands of workers were maimed, disabled, and killed in workplace accidents, it established unions and occupational safety standards to protect American workers.

•      After decades of Jim Crow laws, it eliminated the lynching, segregation, and discrimination of African Americans through the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

•      It eliminated unfair voting practices in the south by White officials who gave “tests” and administered grandfather clauses to potential Black voters with the Voting Rights Act of 1965.

•      It makes discriminatory practices against LGBTQ individuals—such as kicking them out of their homes and dismissing them from jobs—illegal. It also legalizes gay marriage, which is supported by over 60 percent of the people in this country. 

•      It passed the Americans with Disabilities Act, guaranteeing equal treatment and access to public buildings to Americans with mental or physical impairments.

•       It established the Clean Air Act in 1970 and the Clean Water Act in 1972, both passed by a Democratic Congress and signed into law by Republican President Richard Nixon.

•      It gave women reproductive rights. A right supported by over two-thirds of Americans.

•       It gave rise to the #MeToo movement, which gives women a voice against predatory sexual practices and has finally encouraged law enforcement to take sexual assault cases seriously.

•       It has given us Medicare and Social Security to help Americans deal with aging. It has given us disability to aid those who are injured or sick. It has given us a myriad of social programs to aid those struggling with poverty.

 In every one of these cases, there were those who opposed these movements or the legislation that resulted. Why? Because for some people, when someone of a different race, sex, sexual orientation, social class, or even a different political persuasion gains rights, they believe they are somehow losing theirs.

People who are angry over some perceived “loss of rights” or dissatisfied with their lives will always see someone else’s gain as a personal affront to them. And they need a scapegoat.  Someone they can target for their perceived loss of status. They need a convenient target upon which to take out their anger.

So now, apparently, that anger extends to people who support those who were or are marginalized. So we call them "woke" in an effort to insult them. When all most of us are trying to do is make sense of an ever-changing world.

I had an argument with someone once who said the entire #MeToo movement was void because a few women claimed that men whistling at them constituted sexual harassment. This person claimed that this makes the entire movement “ridiculous” and we should just disregard it.

First of all, some women do see this as a form of sexual harassment regardless of how it is meant. That does not mean that everyone who supports the movement will agree.

Secondly, I cannot find a single case where a man was actually arrested or prosecuted for this. Nor can I find anywhere in the United States of America where whistling at women would be considered a crime.

And finally, the #MeToo movement has resulted in a dramatic decrease in sexual harassment in the workplace. It has also meant that police departments now take reports of sexual assault seriously. There is now a movement nationwide to process a huge backlog of rape kits in dozens of cities around this country.

But, sure. We should declare an entire movement that has occurred to the benefit of ALL women null and void because a few don’t like men whistling at them.

What you need to remember is that in every movement—regardless of whether it is on the right or the left—you are going to have those on the extreme edges who take things too far. But to use that as a litmus test of an entire movement is extreme in itself, not to mention ridiculous.

Speaking of taking things too far and embracing the ridiculous, let’s look at the reaction of some on the far right to the recent collapse of the Silicon Valley Bank. Fox News devoted copious amounts of time on Monday to claim that the bank’s instability and collapse were due largely to the fact that they tried to be too “woke.”

Really? So it had nothing to do with the banking deregulations that occurred in 2018 (because we clearly learned nothing from 2008)? And that bank’s heavy reliance on investments in high-tech startups? Or the fact that Silicon Valley Bank had extensive holdings in bonds, which lost value when interest rates started to climb?

To listen to the words of “wisdom” from the likes of Fox News or Florida Governor Ron DeSantis—who never misses an opportunity to take an uninformed cheap shot—you would think that bank was run by Greenpeace, the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and a drag queen named LaChicqua.

But Fox is in damage control right now for a number of reasons, and recent court document releases have shown us how seriously we should take anything that comes out of the mouths of Rupert Murdoch and Company. Including their definitions of “woke.”

Even if you believe that woke has gone too far, take heart. History has continually shown us that when society leans too far to the extreme, balance eventually returns. What comes to pass is a middle ground that won’t make anyone on the extreme edges happy but is something by which the majority of us can abide.

What NEVER comes to pass, however, is a return to the old status quo where you can marginalize, demean, criminalize, and deny basic rights to those who look or behave differently from you because you need someone to blame.

So if you seek a return to a narrow-minded, ignorant mindset and believe the rest of us will blindly follow, you have bigger problems than “woke.”

Enough With the Thoughts and Prayers

Gun violence has hit a little close to home this week.

My daughter's alma mater, Michigan State University, was the latest victim in a string of casualties. Shannon is no longer at the campus but still has friends there. On Monday night, she was texting with someone who had barricaded themselves in one of the buildings while a person who had no business having a gun roamed through several buildings, shooting and killing at random.

Yes, the typical outrage is being bantered about. People are angry that this has happened yet again. Others, however, counter and claim that this is not a "gun" problem. It is a "societal" problem or a "mental health problem," and the guns are as blameless as their victims and are not REALLY killing people. Or the actual problem is that more people are not running around with guns to shoot back at the people with guns.

Sure sounds like a gun problem to me.         

But that outrage will play out as it always does. With nothing. Simply because a portion of our politicians is beholden to a constitutional amendment ratified in December of 1791. 

A time when the young United States of America had no standing armies and relied on volunteers. 

A time when a nation that now boasts nearly 332 million had a population of  3,929,214.

A time when the $12 cost of purchasing a gun--about $390 in today's money--limited the financial ability of many people to purchase one. That equaled about five weeks' worth of wages in Colonial times. No one who did not absolutely need a gun spent five weeks' worth of their wages on one.

A time when muskets and flintlock pistols held one round at a time and could fire off a maximum of three to four rounds per minute, while today's semi-automatic weapons can fire as many as 45 rounds in that same time period.

The founding fathers may have envisioned a country that would grow exponentially. I think it is safe to say they did not envision anything like the carnage that modern guns can inflict.

But none of that matters. As some see it, we are all simply collateral damage in the right to own guns. And as the collateral damage adds up, they simply double down. To the point where even common sense measures are seen as a "radical left" tactic to ban all guns.

Well, I am not a member of the "radical left." I am a moderate. I reject extremism on both sides of the political spectrum. I also have guns in my home. And I have had it.

I do not want to hear your excuses. I do not want to hear only "thoughts and prayers." As someone who DOES support the right of citizens to own firearms, I want common sense.

I want red flag laws passed that allow families to work with law enforcement to keep guns out of the hands of the mentally ill or those suffering from psychological issues, whether long-term or temporary.

I want the gun show loopholes closed.

I want expanded background checks and mandatory seven-day waiting periods for ALL gun purchases.

I want all illegal firearms and all guns confiscated during the commission of crimes to be destroyed, not sold at auctions or deliberately put back into circulation so that law enforcement can "trace" them back to criminals. We all know how well Operation Fast & Furious worked out.

Lastly, I realize that the practice of private citizens owning semi-automatic weapons is a hot-button issue. Everyone has an opinion, and that is fine. To me, however, no private citizen needs to own a weapon whose only purpose is to kill as many people in as short a time as possible. I want the sale of semi-automatic weapons discontinued to the general public.

And let's talk about people with guns shooting at bad guys. Back in 2015, a suspect was fleeing a Home Depot here in Michigan after leaving the store with unpaid merchandise. The man was caught on surveillance video. Employees were aware and were following the suspect to get his plate numbers. Police had been called.

However, a woman with a licensed pistol took it upon herself to stop the thief. She began randomly firing at the suspect's vehicle in a parking lot full of people. 

The thief got away but was later arrested. The woman was also charged and given 18 months probation for reckless use, handling, or discharge of a firearm. 

It turns out that just because you have a permit to carry a gun doesn't mean you can whip it out and start firing it in public. It also means that even if someone is a "good" guy with a firearm, it doesn't make them responsible. Or smart for that matter. 

I don't understand the logic of arming a whole bunch of people who just randomly start firing a gun in a situation where they may not even understand the circumstances or consider the "collateral damage" that may be all around them. Or don't care simply because they want to be labeled a "hero." Leave the hero work to those who are required to be specially trained and put in specified numbers of hours on a gun range to be certified to use that gun.

You don't have to agree with me. That is certainly your right. 

But I am guessing there are a lot more people out there like me who are sick to death with the "thoughts and prayers" of those who want to point fingers and pour the blame on the "other side," but have no desire to do a damn thing to stop it. Because doing something about it would require them to grow a spine and stand up to the gun lobby.

It would also take away many of their talking points and their ability to put all of the blame on someone else. After all, when you do nothing but run your mouth, the risk is minimal.

Prayer, in my opinion, is certainly a good start. But James 2:14-17 reads:

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

What does that mean for those who go around continually offering thoughts and prayers to the victims and their families, to those traumatized by the death and violence they have witnessed, but do nothing more? When you are not offering the solutions, not giving the most vulnerable members of society the protection they need, is that not "faith without works?"

Thoughts and prayers alone have never stopped a bullet. But for those who have only thoughts and prayers to offer, they go a long way toward keeping them flying.

Changes in Seasons

 I usually look forward to autumn. I love the colors, the cool crisp air, and the sights and smells of this amazing season.

But not this year. Because I know I will likely be losing my beloved companion of 12 years. My dog, Chloe.

She was recently diagnosed with an aggressive and rapidly-spreading form of melanoma. Although her blood work is excellent, X-rays reveal the cancer may already be in her lungs. The vet cannot say for sure, but she very likely only has months to live.

Her time all depends on how long it takes the cancer to spread. It could only be a matter of weeks. Or she can hold on for six months or longer. No one knows.

I try to concentrate on giving her the best doggie life I can and focus on the time we have left. She still loves her food and treats. We continue to take our morning walks, although she is moving slower now. And our walks also take more time because I no longer hurry her. I give her the chance to stop, sniff, and enjoy this world while she still has time.

But the uncertainty is always lurking in the background. I find myself dreading the time when she will not be here for a walk on the Lake Michigan shore or a short hike near the woods by our cabin instead of taking in the moment.

So, like all difficulties in life, I have placed this in God’s hands. I know he will guide both her and us in His wisdom. I am certain He will give her the gift of the time she needs while giving us the capacity to enjoy these moments with her along with the wisdom to know when it is time to let her go.

For now, we will keep taking walks as the morning air grows cooler each day. I will buy her a loofah dog—which she generally tears apart within a few days—just because I know the pleasure it will give her. I am going to buy the fancy frosted dog cookies at the pet store that I normally only buy for her birthday, just because I can. And I will keep reminding myself to live in each and every moment with my friend.

Because all seasons bring changes.

More Quotes To Live and Laugh By

 It’s a great time to be alive. The light at the end of the coronavirus tunnel is in sight, although it could actually be the headlights from another oncoming COVID train. Time will tell. Putin is attempting to start WWIII in Europe. And a large portion of the country continues to live in an alternative reality where facts are optional.

So, once again, it is time for more “Quotes to Live and Laugh By (Because Drinking Before 5:00 PM Is a Bad Idea)":

• I will put you in the trunk and help people look for you. Don’t test me.
• You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn’t? Yeah, I don’t have one of those.
• If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed and we’re having a staff meeting.
• The Wi-Fi went down for five minutes so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.
• I am pretty sure if I smacked the stupid out of you, there wouldn’t be anything left.
• I told my husband I wanted to be cremated. He made an appointment for next Wednesday.
• My dream job would be driving the karma bus.
• I have reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.
• I can keep my mouth shut, but you will still be able to read the subtitles on my face.
• My “resting bitch-face” and “active bitch-face” are pretty much the same thing.
• He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

So, as the price of a barrel of oil approaches the cost of your first car, don’t forget to keep a sense of humor. Find funny in the not-so-funny, and give yourself permission to laugh.

As the saying goes, “Don’t take life so seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

The Enemy Within

America just marked 20 years since the attacks on 9/11. We memorialized the 2,977 citizens who lost their lives in New York, the Pentagon, and in a field in Shanksville, PA. Many of whom died as heroes trying to save their fellow citizens.

Something struck me as I watched the memorial services. Our ability to come together when an attack comes from outside our borders is amazing. Whether it is a strike from Japan that decimates our Pacific naval forces, a nuclear threat only 1,500 miles from our shores by the Soviet Union, or terrorists who kill our citizens and attack our institutions, we rise to the challenge. We unite. We fight.

But when the threat comes from within, that is a different story. The battle lines are drawn between right and left, and the only battle we fight is against each other.

When a virus kills over 600,000 Americans, we turn vaccines and safety measures into political statements. When an election does not go our way and we are lied to by pundits and politicians whose only goal is to maintain power at any cost, we turn on our own police. We attack and vandalize institutions we claim to hold sacred. 

When minority groups attempt to level the playing field by asking for equal rights, we don't wish to understand. We believe those who tell us that by these citizens gaining ground, the rest of us will somehow lose our own rights in the bargain.  

When our family, friends, and neighbors have political opinions that differ from ours, rather than listen and attempt to find common ground, we label them as Traitors. Unpatriotic. Communists. The Enemy.

What do you think this says to those who wish us harm? To the Vladamir Putins, the Kim Jong Uns, the Bashar al-Assads, or the Osama bin Ladens of the world?

It tells them they do not need guns and bombs. They do not need armies. They do not need hijacked airplanes to attack America.

A virus released into the air or water means a large percentage of the country will refuse to take safety measures to prevent an outbreak, and most of those will believe it is a hoax or a political move by the opposing party, so why take it seriously? Then they will proceed to willingly spread a potentially deadly pathogen.

A carefully orchestrated disinformation campaign against an election, a government leader, a political party, or a minority group--regardless of how bizarre or erroneous--will mean that a percentage of Americans will not only believe it is true because it reflects their own biases but will also happily spread your lies for you. 

These same individuals will simply refuse to accept the decisions of government leaders, laws or court rulings they do not like, or election results. And they will take matters into their own hands. Violently if necessary.

Why would our enemies need to attack us when we are so willing to do the work for them? They can simply pull a few strings and watch as America implodes. Then strike once we have sufficiently weakened ourselves.

Right now you are probably feeling one of two things. You feel helpless because of the climate many of our so-called "leaders" and political pundits have created. But we are not helpless.

We can vote the politicians out of office who willingly deceive, and who put their own self-interest and megalomania ahead of those of the citizens of the United States of America. 

We can unite against deceit and misinformation. We can call out those who spread conspiracy theories as facts. We can label them as the lies they are, not dismiss them as "alternative facts." 

We can get our news and information from only websites and media outlets that are rated as credible on sites like mediabiasfactcheck.org, and stop spreading the "facts" created by Russia, North Korea, Yemen, and China.

Most importantly, we can stop wholeheartedly believing in the narrative that only fits our own biases or our personal agendas. We can take responsibility for what we circulate, and make sure we are not spreading half-truths and "facts" that are cherry-picked and manipulated before we pass them along.

As for the rest of you, you are probably angry. Not at the picture of the dangerous divisions I paint, but at me personally for daring to define them and point fingers at those you wholeheartedly support and believe. But I would ask you, at whom are you REALLY angry? Sometimes, the truth hurts.

Because unquestioning belief in anyone or anything is dangerous. When we place all of our trust and faith in these individuals and belief systems, we deliberately put on blinders.

True patriotism is not blind. It is standing up for your country when it is right and standing against it when it is wrong. And when manipulation and lies are needed to preserve the status quo, America is most definitely heading in the wrong direction.

Our blind biases cause us to see each other not as fellow citizens, but as the “other” who deserve to be treated as less than Americans, or worse, less than human. Undeserving of compassion and understanding. Whose very existence needs to be marginalized, or disposed of completely.

As former White House Chief of Staff John Kelly said after the attack on the Capitol on January 6th: "We need to look infinitely harder at who we elect to any office in our land — at the office seeker’s character, at their morals, at their ethical record, their integrity, their honesty, their flaws, what they have said about women, and minorities, why they are seeking office in the first place, and only then consider the policies they espouse.” 

Additionally, we need to take a hard look at ourselves and ask, "Why?" Why does an enemy that is real in a physical sense means we unite, but one that is less than tangible means we turn on each other?

We have proven time and time again we can rise together. What remains to be seen is how we may fall apart together.

America stands at a crossroads. Which path you take, which path we all take, could make the difference between an America that lives up to the phrase "liberty and justice for all," or one that, piece by piece, destroys herself from within. Choose wisely.

Finding Humor in a Not-So-Funny Year

If 2020 were a drink, it would be a colonoscopy prep.

Thank you. I will be here all week.

I can't actually take credit for that saying. I found it online. In this troublesome year, one of the things that saved my sanity is humor.

For many of us, 2020 has been, to say the least, challenging. Between economic uncertainty, a contentious election, and the loss or potential loss of those we care about due to a horrendous virus that some choose to treat as a joke, 2020 has been devastating for many.

My brother, sister-in-law, and aunt all survived COVID-19. My childhood ballet teacher, who at 72 was still teaching and directing the Johnstown Concert Ballet, did not.

This past year did have its good moments. Cliff and I were able to take a vacation just as the pandemic started. In fact, we were on a gigantic cruise ship with about 5,000 other people in the Caribbean when it all hit the fan. 

We were able to finish the cruise, but it is a little hard to completely enjoy a beach in Belize when people are being quarantined on a cruise ship that just docked in California.

Obviously, we made it home without issue and not a single case of the virus was confirmed on that ship. Thank God for small blessings.

Being stuck at home, however boring and claustrophobic it can be for some, had its advantages. My gardens never looked better. I have organized, sorted, and donated things I have not been able to get to in the 20-plus years we have been in this house.

Although the holidays this year are different, they are not without merit. Without the usual parties, dinners, plays, movies we want to see, and concerts we want to attend, our little family is more relaxed and actually enjoying the holiday season more.

Like the rest of you, however, we have learned there is such a thing as too much togetherness. In the moments when I cannot stand one more second of these people--and you ALL know where I am coming from--I turn to humor.

This entire year I have generated toward the lighthearted and the funny. I seek them out in television series, books, and movies. The holidays have been no different. I rewatched many reruns of The Office.  I have seen National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation at least six times because it makes any holiday at your own house look like an episode of The Waltons. The holiday book I am listening to right now is called Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat. No, it is not about my own family.

I have so appreciated the humor that the witty people of the world have shared online in the form of sayings and memes. Here are some of my favorites: 

• Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body.

• My doctor asked me if anyone from my family suffers from mental illness. I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."

• My body is a temple. Ancient and crumbling. Probably cursed or haunted.

• The officer said, "You drinking?" I said, "You buying?" We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money.

• At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.

• I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, but with words.

• Another wine bottle with no genie at the bottom. I'll keep looking.

• I was told to check my attitude. I did...it's still there. What's the problem?

• Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.

• If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

• If you're happy and you know it it's your meds.

• Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.

• I didn't mean to push all your buttons. I was just looking for mute.

• There's a fine line between genius and crazy. I use that line as a jump rope.

• If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.

• Sometimes I question my sanity, but the unicorn in the kitchen told me I'm fine.

• I don't have ducks. I don't have rows. I have squirrels and they're drunk.

• I am going to stop asking "How dumb can you get?" People seem to be taking it as a challenge.

• You think it's bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people who were homeschooled by day drinkers.

• At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods I'd just go.

Author Steve Goodier once said, "A sense of humor helps us to get through the dull times, cope with the difficult times, and manage the scary times." Finding a reason to laugh, even in the most difficult of situations, helps us keep our humanity. I hope you were able to hang on to your sense of humor as well as your compassion in this trying year.

So in the waning days of 2020, here's to finding a little joy, hope, and laughter in a year that we all want to forget. And here's hoping we don't need to look too hard to find them in 2021.